Vi kunde inte hålla oss borta från varann och var tvungna att babbla lite om finalen ikväll. Hur går det för Cornelia? Vinner Ukraina så säkert, och är det i så fall politiskt? Vilken är hiten ner i bubblan i Turin? Har Ken saknat ESC-hänget? Hur trött är Ronny? Alla svar och lite till i 30 minuters specialschlagerstudio!
Tack för ännu en underbar säsong, och för att ni finns, och för allt ni gör! Snälla snälla kan vi få en schlagerstudio med eftersnack om ESC? Vill höra era tankar om allt, inkl. Ukraina 2023 och Azerbaijanskt röstköpande etc etc 🙂
Tack så jättemycket! Och det är inte en helt omöjlig idé det där. 🙂
01. 🇨🇿 CZECH REPUBLIC.
I think the girl could be a lowkey sex machine in the bed! She looks like some sort of trafficking victim who ended up in the ass of old men from Germany. The song is great and even better now when she has reached the final. This is sexy electropop!
Score: 8
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
02. 🇷🇴 ROMANIA.
The songwriters deserve to be shooten.
Some kind of whore gay take on Ricky Martin and Sakis Rouvas with a singer that looks like a rat that decieded to be gay. This is the future “Deen” – The guy that will emirate from his native country becuase he is too much gay. His singing voice makes my ears turn into macaroni. However, the female dancers are making my dick get such a boner so almost that my roof broke down at home in the semi-final. Haha!
Score: 5
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
03. 🇵🇹 PORTUGAL.
For me, overhyped. She has a lovely voice but she needs to sing a bit higher. This is three very stiff minutes without any drama or melody. She looks good but her friends on stage looks like five monkeys that wants to die. Three minutes of hell.
Score: 4
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
04. 🇫🇮 FINLAND.
Now the song is like a vanilla-ice cream-rock n roll. Strange, ugly performance with lots of yellow balloons and why does he pose as a cartoon-clown at the beginning of the song?
Score: 5
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
05. 🇨🇭 SWITZERLAND.
He can sing and the song is quality but the guy is surprisingly fat. Grandma-face, very much hair, grotesque clothing and a body which is wide. The girls will run away from the TV. Everything is wrong but the song is very well made and he can sing but this is a strong candidate for the last place.
Score: 6
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
06. 🇫🇷 FRANCE.
This is awful. Three ugly little chickens that have come from the forest and picked mushrooms and taken some older guy on stage and jumping and screaming to some destroyed feminstic ethno pop. It’s like listening to three carrier pigeons that have taken a lot of ketamine. The girls are so fucking UGLY. They are short, tiny and fat and wearing some tight hole clothes. One of the worst songs of the year. This will flop. Poor and talentless. Shit song from shit country!
Score: 3
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
07. 🇳🇴 NORWAY.
Finally some quality came. Norway is the smartest country in the Nordics. Norway has understood everything. This is the entry Sweden should start sending. Banana-colored hyenas making Ylvis. Yum, yum. hihi.
Score: 8
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
08. 🇦🇲 ARMENIA.
I don’t like the girl. She feels like a narcissist. The girl from the high school who just wants others to fail. Horrible girl. The song is like a female Tom Dice, we have heard this million times before. Swedish radio chart music in a bad way. She is also quite fat and her face is just as white as milk. I hate her. And why is she performing in a toilet roll?
Score: 5
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
09. 🇮🇹 ITALY.
Now the competition starts for real. This is quality on another level. Italy is a strong player in Eurovision. It is impossible to say anything else, their Sanremo festival only brings out quality and the way Mahmood works with the camera makes gays and girls completely wet. Top 3 result, for sure. The song is three star-level.
Score: 10
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
10. 🇪🇸 SPAIN.
Well… her nipples I would have not refused to have near my mouth, haha! I do not think people know how fucking hard it is to do what she does on stage. There are many female world-stars who are struggling to stay in the shape Chanel is. Chanel makes Eleni Foureria appear like a dancing match-stick. Top 5-placing for sure.
Score: 10
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
11. 🇳🇱 NETHERLANDS.
She is so fucking beautiful. Her lips when she sings and talks… Wow! She is just natural and clean. What a babe! This is the entry for the young girls that are drinking cappuccino and eating avocado sandwich everyday and studying in the highest standards schools. This is modern, sharp pure quality.
Score: 8
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
12. 🇺🇦 UKRAINE.
It’s very weird how little there is talk about how sick it is that the country that is at war comes up with one of the competition’s most successful and high-quality songs. This infectious quality rap with this lullaby-chorus will be brutally dangerous. This is our winner tonight.
Score: 10
Result: This is the winner of Eurovision 2022.
13. 🇩🇪 GERMANY.
For me this is the most quality song from Germany since Lena in Düsseldorf. Unfortunately, it says very little when they have only been sending retarded entres for many years, now. The rap in the song could maybe make this to avoid the last place.
Score: 6
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
14. 🇱🇹 LITHUANIA.
One of the sexiest songs of the year. She is working with the cameras like it was a foreplay.
Score: 9
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
15. 🇦🇿 AZERBAIJAN.
It feels like Azerbaijan could send a kebab roll to the Eurovision and still qualify. The performance is like a falling playcard house. It’s like watching a drunk singing peacock.
Score: 5
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
16. 🇧🇪 BELGIUM.
Great to see TV companies invest in people who have quality. This is R&B for real. Some kind of soulful dark American street Jackson chorus has been added to the song that the critics will like. This is great but also with limited chances in the top game.
Score: 9
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
17. 🇬🇷 GREECE.
Very sadly we will not see a final this year with both Greece and Cyprus but Amanda is delivering. The performance is exactly what it should be; clean, beautiful and simple. Top ten contender, for sure.
Score: 9
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
18. 🇮🇸 ICELAND.
Some kind of Icelandic take on Lisa Miskovsky. One of the surprises from Tuesday-semi-final. I hate activism on stage and activists in general. The song is like soft snow with cowboy boots
Score: 6
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
19. 🇲🇩 MOLDOVA.
Perhaps the country who got the best running order-position. The songs between 13-18 in the running order are only midtempo/ballad. This is a great advantage for these guys. They will be in the top ten, yes. At least in the televote. This is like Eastern European Homer Simpson making Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Score: 8
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
20. 🇸🇪 SWEDEN
The song is still pure quality and Cornelia is fucking brilliant BUT the presentation was nothing very special to be honest. The Swedish team could have done a lot more. Only having this big green circle in the background is not very effective if you ask me, but the biggest effect here is still the song. But I don’t think Sweden will get a seventh victory with this…
Score: 9
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
21. 🇦🇺 AUSTRALIA.
Australia should withdraw and leave the Eurovision and stay on their own continent. Their entries they have sent, have nothing to do on the European music market. Last year they sent a feminist kangaroo and this year a screaming theatrical donkey who wears a dress! Three minutes of fucking shit.
Score: 3
Result: RIGHT side of scoreboard
22. 🇬🇧 UNITED KINGDOM.
Sam Ryder is one hell of a singer and one hell of a performer. I understand why literally all the artists from this year’s competition wants to make a collaboration with him. However the song for me is not winning material. If the UK wins tomorrow, it’s a winner I think not the massive followers will care about, just the day after the final. The song is a little bit too silly for being a true winner but it would be a big victory for the UK only to be in the top 5.
Score: 8
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
23. 🇵🇱 POLAND.
I think the guy made women pregnant after this performance on Thursday. He sings like a real man. The diaspora will go into action tomorrow. Seventh place or higher and the country will get their best result in 28 years.
Score: 9
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
24. 🇷🇸 SERBIA
One of the most intelligent songs EVER in Eurovision. Konstrakta is eating apples everyday and still seems to have a good functioning and effective sexlife.
The Serbian entry this year will be remembered as a masterful classic. People will still talk about this entry in 2030 and 2040. This is such a spotless magnetic fucking hit! And I love hits! IF we will not see a Ukrainian victory tomorrow then I think we will see a Serbian victory. Konstrakta is a lowkey underdog in the competition and this will absolutely BOOM in the televote. Belgrad 2023 is not impossible. Jovan Radomir should start preparing. Top 5 placing, for sure.
Score: 10
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard
25. 🇪🇪 ESTONIA.
One of the most well made modern country-pop songs we have heard in Eurovision in the last decade. The guy ignored making a shop window for Robin Hood in the semifinals because he was more busy flirting with the girls who were sitting at home sweating ;)) For me, the best Estonian entry since “Kuula”.
Score: 9
Result: LEFT side of scoreboard